Perhaps we ought to point out that the real-life examples printed below, of answers given by contestants on British TV programmes such as ‘The Weakest Link’, were not all given by the same one contestant.
Quiz Contestant Howlers
Fun Stuff
Darwin Awards 2005
Named for the father of evolution Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who are public-spirited (or foolish!) enough to improve our common gene pool by the simple expedient of removing themselves from it.
This year’s easy winner was James Eliot.
When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked…
Immigrant Jobs
20.09.05
Dear Agnes
You know the drill! You’ve been round the circuit a few times! You could advise me!
Mick the Thief
This, allegedly a true story, was contributed. Only the names have been changed, for many of us might hazard a guess as to the real identity of the main protagonist! Please note it is not the character here pictured!
Mick was a thief. From the time I knew him he was always up to something shady. He had never worked yet he always dressed well and most of the time had money in his pocket.
Survivors
It took months to persuade the aircraft crash survivor to re-enter the social scene and longer still before she could talk about her ordeal.
Devil Drink
‘Beware the demon drink!’ the minister roared from the pulpit.
‘It has brought ruin, immorality and disaster upon individuals and families alike. It is sinister too, creeping up on people: it may start with just one, but that leads to another.
Agnes oiled and in heat!
Dear Agnes,
My mother should have prepared me better for the onset of this menopause! ‘Every time you ‘go warm’, she suggested, ‘is worth a guinea!’ What on earth did she mean? I’ll be ready for the 2,000
I feel like a Bunny ‘in heat’.
A mere diversion!
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a British Naval ship and the Irish, off the coast of
Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95: