Funny Old World Archives | Page 9 of 13

Darwin Awards 2005

June 8, 2020October 5, 2005 by John McCullagh

Named for the father of evolution Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who are public-spirited (or foolish!) enough to improve our common gene pool by the simple expedient of removing themselves from it.

This year’s easy winner was James Eliot.

When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.

He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.

This time it worked…

Mick the Thief

June 8, 2020September 8, 2005 by John McCullagh

This, allegedly a true story, was contributed. Only the names have been changed, for many of us might hazard a guess as to the real identity of the main protagonist! Please note it is not the character here pictured!

Mick was a thief. From the time I knew him he was always up to something shady. He had never worked yet he always dressed well and most of the time had money in his pocket.

Survivors

June 8, 2020August 6, 2005 by John McCullagh

It took months to persuade the aircraft crash survivor to re-enter the social scene and longer still before she could talk about her ordeal.

Devil Drink

June 8, 2020July 24, 2005 by John McCullagh

‘Beware the demon drink!’ the minister roared from the pulpit.

‘It has brought ruin, immorality and disaster upon individuals and families alike. It is sinister too, creeping up on people: it may start with just one, but that leads to another.

A mere diversion!

June 8, 2020May 31, 2005 by John McCullagh

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a British Naval ship and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 95.

Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95:

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision.

Bananas!!

June 8, 2020May 29, 2005 by John McCullagh

The latest Government initiative to curtail yobbish behaviour is the imposition of ASBO’s, or anti-social behaviour orders. One had already been served upon solicitor Roger Maxwell’s client, Stephen Winestoned when he was re-arrested.

In the grave!

June 8, 2020April 23, 2005 by John McCullagh

True story!! Honest!

Dickie Rodgers was always very fit in his younger days and was up at the scrake of dawn walking his greyhounds. Believe it or not there are a few others constantly about at that time – insomniacs, milkmen and people like me, just on the way home.