Funny Old World Archives | Page 6 of 13

Got the dough?

June 3, 2020January 24, 2008 by John McCullagh

Two rookie robbers in Chicago USA were today languishing in prison after perhaps the most foolish escapade of their young lives. Perhaps we ought to relive a little of their trauma with them.

Hillbilly hermaphrodite

June 3, 2020January 17, 2008 by John McCullagh

I was just wondering ….

Would you buy a slightly-soiled second-hand Presidency from this particular Hillbilly?

Blessed Horses

June 6, 2020May 23, 2007 by John McCullagh

One day while he was at the track betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the fourth race. Mitch was a Protestant but he knew the difference between religion and business.

An Inspector Calls

June 6, 2020April 21, 2007 by John McCullagh

‘He was very well dressed – in a pin-striped charcoal grey suit, with white shirt and stylish tie and he carried a smart, modern suitcase. It was easy to believe ….

Aromatherapist

June 7, 2020January 23, 2007 by John McCullagh

It was a stifling hot day and a man collapsed in the middle of a busy intersection.

Grabbed by the ‘hinder part’

June 7, 2020January 20, 2007 by John McCullagh

Eventually in the second half of the nineteenth century the ill-fated Goraghwood to Armagh railway extension was completed. Local papers record that the navvies working on this section were a constant source of trouble in the district.

Read moreGrabbed by the ‘hinder part’

Ticket for Mars?

June 7, 2020January 16, 2007 by John McCullagh

In view of recent ‘political and security developments’ we sent our roving reporter to the Ardmore Fortress on the Downshire Road, in search of an interview with a real, live, local PSNI man (or woman).

Coolridge Effect

June 7, 2020October 28, 2006 by John McCullagh

Previous American Presidents are remembered for a wide variety of reasons – Nixon for his crookery, Teddy Roosevelt for the Teddy Bear (I’m sure our pedants on Discussions will provide many more examples!) – but only one, to the best of my knowledge, has lent his name to a phenomenon in Zoology.

Mutual back-scratching

June 7, 2020September 29, 2006 by John McCullagh

I read in the trivia pages of a national newspaper lately of a device patented by a New York company that is sure to attract the keen attention of our Newry and Mourne Council Directors – not to mention many another administrative body in these parts!