Dear Technical Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and almost immediately noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications which formerly operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition Husband, all of itself and without taking advice or reference uninstalled many other valuable programmes such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed numerous undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV.
Conversation no longer runs, and House-cleaning simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
…………….
Dear Desperate,
I fear we may be too late, though we can offer a little elucidation and a few words of advice.
First remember, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, Husband is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears.
Don’t forget to install the Guilt update.
If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember – overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer.
Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law …
(it runs a virus that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck,
Technical Support.